I thought I'd try and capture the essence of a nausea/anxiety attack for an emetophobe. I've seen someone do this before and I identified with it quite closely, so perhaps anyone reading this might find comfort int he fact that someone else does the same thing!

Of course something will have to trigger off the attack. That could be anything from simply waking up feeling unwell, having to get up and go somewhere too early (it takes a long time for my stomach to be ready for activity in the morning), having eaten too much or even having eaten too little. The most common trigger for me is the anticipation of going somewhere where it would be very embarrassing to be sick, e.g. a restaurant, lecture, certain shops, a bank etc. and it will start that morning.

I'll try to eat something, otherwise I know I'll feel dizzy and faint later on (which also = nausea), but getting it down is a nightmare. Often I'll have heartburn as my stomach just doesn't want food and I'll have little appetite. Then nearer the time when I have to leave I'll have a feeling of impending doom wash over me. Often this makes my head feel heavy and I get one of those nausea headaches which ties in with neck tension. I'll feel shaky and light headed, yet very jittery and full of energy that I can't expel. That's the anxiety.

Often I'll have to go to the toilet anywhere up to around 6 times before I have to leave (depending on how anxious I am) and I always have diarrhea. This is less of a problem, I can cope with it fine, but it's the relentless nausea which is the problem. It's around now that I'll have the proper attack, usually I'll withdraw somewhere where I can be alone. That might be outside, in my bedroom or in a bathroom; somewhere I know it's ok to be sick. I'll feel myself go pale, usually noticing my pallored hands and nails. I'll sweat and shake, feel very cold but hot inside and take layers off rapidly. All the time feeling as though I am definitely going to be sick any second. I'll fan myself, stand up, sit down, stand up again, stand still waiting to puke, walk to the window for air, heart beating, trying to breathe slowly, etc.

I wonder how many times I've ever done this? It must be well over 20 in my lifetime. Out of all those times I can't think of one where I was actually sick which should prove in my head that wherever I go and whatever I do I will be fine. I know logically that people won't be angry if I'm sick, but my greatest fear is that I am sick infront of another emetophobe. I would feel endlessly guilty and I know I'd ruin their week or even month with worry.

So what happens after these attacks? Maybe I'll 'get out of' whatever was making me nervous by showing someone how ill I feel or that I'm panicking about it. If I go then I'll probably be nervous in the car, have a 2 second nausea attack and then just deal with it. That's when I feel wonderful and feel proud, but it's so much effort.
Once it's all over, or once I know I don't have to go I'll immediately feel very, very tired. After a panic attack like that I can fall asleep in about 2 minutes and even thinking about it is making me want a nap. It certainly requires energy.

People with other phobias besides emetophobia will probably also relate to the feelings I've described. It's all just a flight or fight response which, unfortunately, we still have built into us hundreds of years after it's necessary.