Fight or Flight

I've had a couple of days writing here because I've travelled to see my boyfriend. The 3 hour train journey went well until the very last 10 minutes when I just desperately wanted to get off and everyone was standing up around me. That was basically claustrophobia and having had 4 hours of stress catching up with me. Overall though, it went very well and I had nothing to worry about. I think another couple of those journeys and I'll be well on the way to getting over my fear of trains :)

That brings me to conquering my next fear. Two fears infact. Firstly next monday there is the doctor's appointment to have a flu jab. Going to the doctor's scares me because of all the people in the waiting room that could be sick, the smell and the intense attention you get from the doctor themselves. I hate that almost 'interview' like setting.

Secondly is the slightly more terrifying prospect of getting on a plane. My boyfriend announced he's taking me for a short Christmas holiday the other day and while I'm desperately excited and certainly not going to pass it up because 'I'm too nervous' I am, in all honesty, shitting a brick.
I've never been on a plane before and the idea of there being absolutely no stops, hundreds of miles up and stuck in a metal room for 90 minutes is just horrible. My boyfriend is going to bring some sleeping tablets for me, but I'm also worried the side effects will be nausea...just what I don't want.

I had a little taster of what I might feel like this morning. Bf and I have both got a bad cold which sometimes makes you feel a little nauseous. This was ok while I was sleepy but when I got up to go to the toilet and get water to relieve it I had a panic and was thinking 'if this is how I feel ont he day we have to fly I'll die of fright'.

I should mention that what I write in here isn't what I am LETTING myself think, but what I'm trying to STOP myself thinking. I try my best to practice positive thinking, telling myself that actually I'm just being silly, that the air hostesses and pilot do that journey several times every day and if they can do it then why can't I? Whether this will work I've no idea but it does ease the panic short-term.